While I was bumming around on Facebook on April 1st, someone shared a post from Donut King into my feed: A photo of a bright green V Energy drink flavoured doughnut (yes, I spell it properly). “Ha ha,” I thought to myself. “Nice April Fool’s jo- wait, what the hell?” For it turned out that the original ad had actually been posted on the 31st of March. ie. It wasn’t an April Fool’s joke. ie. THE DAMN THING WAS REAL.
I love doughnuts and I love V Energy drinks, so of course I was going to try one of these. When I shuffled up to the counter of my local Donut King I saw they had a deal where you could get a doughnut AND a can of V for $6, and since I was going to hell anyway, I thought, “Well, why not?”
The first thing I noticed when I took my doughnut out of the bag was that there was nowhere near as much of what looked like fake lawn but was probably just green sugar on it as there was in the ad. Once I saw the grassy turf texture of the doughnut, I wasn’t sure whether I should eat it or go to my local underfunded tennis court and rub it on the bare patches. I went with the former option, and this proved to be a grievous error of judgement.
Taste-wise, if I had to compare it with something else, I’d say it’s very similar to a key lime doughnut I had from Krispy Kreme a year or two ago (I’m not sure if they’re a regular thing or if it was a limited edition flavour). The nuclear sludge-like substance inhabiting the V Energy doughnut tastes like it wants to be lemon and lime (leaning more heavily towards lime), but unfortunately it manages to be overly tart and sickly sweet at the same time. The sugar-grass on top doesn’t seem to add any flavour, so when you’re not getting a mouthful of hell-citrus, it’s just plain, boring doughnut dough.
As much as I wanted to love the V Energy doughnut, the only way I could recommend buying one is if you need makeshift grenades for a battle of chemical warfare. Leave the V for the cans and stick to buying doughnuts with jam or sprinkles and icing.